Kiss Me, I’m… A Limerick Sandwich!

Ok, these post titles are really getting ridiculous, people.  But this amazing sandwich of cucumber and butter, edged with cream cheese and scallions, is called the Limerick, and it brings me right back to the homeland… well, not to Ireland, but to Scotland.  (And fine, that’s not even my homeland, but anyway…)  Ahem.  Feast your eyes:

the GREEN!  the WHITE!  the YUM!

the GREEN! the WHITE! the YUM!

I discovered this simple and incredibly tasty sandwich at Chado Tea Room – my favorite place to go in Los Angeles when I want to feel like I’m NOT in Los Angeles, but rather in some Merchant Ivory film set in late-century Britain.  (I am also, in these moments, a seventy-five-year-old woman who bakes cookies and goes to the Old Castle Tavern in St. Andrews, Scotland every night to drink Guinness and knit sweaters for my grandchildren.  It’s just one of my fantasies.  Bear with me.)  WOW, did I get off topic.  The point is, at Chado, they have a Limerick sandwich on the menu and I have replicated it for you HERE, so you can ENJOY the crunch of the cukes, the crisp of the scallions, the salt of the cream cheese, and the Ooh-la-la of the butter.  Get your knitting needles, and come with me…

Big knife
Regular table knife (you know what I mean)

Wheat Bread
Scallions (1 stalk) (And yes, they are also known as green onions as my grocery store insisted they be called.  JEEZ.)
Cream cheese

You could probably figure this one out yourself just by looking at it, (like I did), but let’s humor each other and go through the motions, shall we?  After all, as Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. once said, “I firmly believe that we are put on this earth to fart around.”  

(Sorry for the fart reference.)

And actually I do want to say one thing which is that for best results, you want to keep all the elements in proportion with this sandwich.  Too much cream cheese and you might as well just be eating a bagel.  Too much cucumber and it’s a salad on bread.  Too much butter and – well you could never have too much butter, but you get the idea.  Ok!

Lightly toast the bread, just to firm it up.  Or if you don’t like toast, (which believe it or not, my husband doesn’t), don’t.  What do I care, you weirdo.

Cut six or seven slices of cucumber AS THINLY AS YOU CAN with your big knife.  (I actually used too much cucumber in the example above – next time I’ll make them thinner and layer them less.)  Again, you want a thin layer in this sandwich because too much cuke will overpower the butter.  And I know you can’t believe I just said that, but you have to trust me when I tell you that butter is an ESSENTIAL flavor in this luscious Limerick experience.

Butter both pieces of bread well – more than you would if you were just having toast.  You don’t want the butter to disappear on you.  Really people, you want the butter.  Don’t be shy.  Have I made myself clear on the butter issue?

Yes, Punky Chef.  Please continue.

Okay okay.  So impatient.  Ahem.  Lay the cucumber slices on the bottom slice of bread and close the sandwich.  With your regular knife, spread cream cheese all around the edges of the sandwich like this:

Like icing on a cucumber cake... MMMmmmm...

Like icing on a cucumber cake... MMMmmmm...

And now chop the dark green ends of the scallions and lay them out in a long, thin line, like this:

Big knife shows length of scallion kick line.

Big knife shows length of scallion kick line.

And I think you know where we’re going with this, eh?  Hold your sandwich in one hand and roll it through the scallions, like caviar on sushi, like sprinkles on an ice cream cone, like YUM, man.

Check out this shot - perfectly focused hand with sandwich, artfully blurry big knife in background.  Oooh, it gives me chills.

Check out this shot - perfectly focused hand holding sandwich, artfully blurry big knife in background. Oooh, it gives me chills.

And now all that’s left to do is cut the sandwich in half and plate ‘er up!  SERVE and ENJOY!  And just wait until the butter taste hits you – it’s like a rich, sweet aftertaste, perfectly complimenting the fresh crisp cukes.  Ahh

You can even eat your delicious Limerick sandwich with the rest of your leftover Spicy 3 Bean Chili from the other night.  Nothing like a little British Isles pub lunch mixed with some vegetarian Tex-Mex, eh?

Culture clash?  More like a culture SMASH hit!  Oh, I slay myself...

Culture clash? More like a culture SMASH hit! Oh, I slay myself...

And no, the Pac-Man visual was not intentional.


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    schinders said,


  2. 2

    Kathy said,

    I LOVE this sandwich also! I order it everytime I go to Chado. Just had one on Monday,6/29/2009!

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