Disco Biscuits: Parmesan Lace Wafers with a Punky Party on Top!

These are the easiest thing ever, people, I’m serious.  And I don’t get serious very often, so this must be HUGE.  Seriously, you just shave, plop, and blot.  2 minutes.  Total perfection.  And I wanted to find a cool, punky name for them, y’know, like “Sid Viciousnesses” or “Ramonezones” or something.  But then I thought of awesome jam band the Disco Biscuits and suddenly there was no going back.  Witness:

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Now there are few things farther from punk than a jam band.  First, jam bands have real musicians who tend to play their instruments extremely well.  Second, jam bands do not wear make-up, leather pants, lace stockings, or nose rings.  Third, the goal of the jam band is to gently rock and rhythm their audiences until they swirl and flutter gracefully around the floor like little entranced butterflies just out of the cocoon, whereas punk bands SLAM their audiences over the head, from the side and in the face with LOUD, PUSHY, OBNOXIOUS, ANGRY, CYNICAL emotion.  YEAH!  HAH!  UNGH!

I will say that cynicism goes well with the jam bands at times too, though they tend to express it with more of a “heh” than a “HAH!”, if you know what I mean.

But nevertheless!  A recipe title is a recipe title, and I have just enough integrity to know when it’s time to get my jam on.  So, grab a sheet pan and a cheese grater, and come with me…

Serves: as many as you want!

Cheese grater
Pan (size just depends on how many biscuits you want to make)
Small plate
(Optional for this topping: frying pan, big knife)

Parmesan cheese wedge
(Optional for this topping: spinach, fresh basil, tomato, goat cheese, garlic, pepper, extra virgin olive oil)

Okay!  Are you ready?  Now pay attention because this’ll be done even before the first guitar solo is over.  Before you can say, “Whoa, dude, gnarly Tevas you’re wearin’.”  Before you can get the cap off that bottle of microbrewed Fat Tire.

1. Heat oven to 425º

2. Shave Parmesan onto a plate:

Extraneous Cheese Bowl Picture.

Extraneous Cheese Plate Picture.

3. Plop little handfuls of cheese, evenly-spaced around pan:

"Heh, heh.  She said SPACEY."  No, I didn't.

"Heh, heh. She said SPACEY." No, I didn't. Put the bong DOWN, people.

4. Place in oven for 2 minutes, count ’em, TWO.  And remove with your spatula!  (Okay, fine, let ’em cool for a minute or so.  ‘Til they stop bubbling and calm their groove down a bit.  THEN remove.)  Place the disco biscuits on a plate with paper towel and blot.  The cheese gets greasy, people.  I’m not gonna lie.

5. Now you’re ready to TOP!  You could chop up some grilled asparagus, slice a little tomato, add olives, sausage, anything you like.  The disco biscuits aren’t crispy, they actually bend so they can handle some pretty intense stuff.  And they are so rich and flavorful that they add ZING to whatever you top ’em with!

For this particular day, I decided to sauté up some garlic, spinach and fresh basil leaves, and then top the mixture with a piece of beefsteak tomato from the Farmers Market and a dollop (dollop?  chunk?  fingerful?) of goat cheese.  And it was good.  VEEERRRRY good.

Just chop up a couple cloves of garlic, (see the TIPS page for garlic choppage help), and throw it in the frying pan with a small swirl of olive oil.  The garlic will start to “speak” (not yell, not sing, not whisper) and then it’s time for the spinach.  And since a whole bag of spinach disappears into almost nothingness, make sure you use more than you think you need!

My god, Punky!  That must be more than I need!

My god, Punky! That must be more than I need! (And why didn't you rotate the picture before you put it in here? Looks all wonky.)

No!  It’s not!  I swear!  (Too much spinach, that is.  It IS wonky, though.  Sorry.)  Once the spinach starts to wither down a bit, add about twelve leaves of fresh basil, chopped roughly with your big knife:



And let it all cook down about two minutes.  Remove from heat for a bit, then top each biscuit.

Chop pieces of your tomato – I made just little wedgy bits since the disco biscuits aren’t very big – and add a piece to each.  Pinch out some plops of goat cheese, and pepper the tops for some contrast and extra flavor.  (And then read that last sentence out loud, because that onomatopoeia was pretty awesome.)  And now…


Can you feel the RHYTHM?  Can you taste the BOOGIE?

Can you feel the RHYTHM? Can you taste the BOOGIE?

The salt of the Parmesan with the aroma of the basil and garlic and the ZAP of the goat cheese will bring your mouth to new levels of ECSTASY.  (And no, you don’t have to take actual ecstasy to feel it.  Jeez, you hippies are just too much.)  You will literally JIGGLE with JOY when you taste these Disco Biscuits, and your friends will all rush to get tickets for your next show at the Fillmore.  (Might I also suggest playing the latest tunes by the happy problem to help with the grooving?)  (Sorry.  Shameless promotional moment.)

See?  Sometimes a mixed marriage can work.  Punks and Jam Bands – what could be next?  Metal and Folk?  Classical and Reggae?  Or how about peace in the Middle East?  Hey – anything’s possible…


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Jessie said,

    that looks awesome!

  2. 2

    duodishes said,

    They are indeed boogie inducing! All things cheese make you want to wiggle. It’s like an edible saucer of food heaven.

  3. 3

    Ms Pink said,

    Yum! You should add a RSS reader so I can subscribe! I love your site 🙂

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