Archive for Recipes

Disco Biscuits: Parmesan Lace Wafers with a Punky Party on Top!

These are the easiest thing ever, people, I’m serious.  And I don’t get serious very often, so this must be HUGE.  Seriously, you just shave, plop, and blot.  2 minutes.  Total perfection.  And I wanted to find a cool, punky name for them, y’know, like “Sid Viciousnesses” or “Ramonezones” or something.  But then I thought of awesome jam band the Disco Biscuits and suddenly there was no going back.  Witness:

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Now there are few things farther from punk than a jam band.  First, jam bands have real musicians who tend to play their instruments extremely well.  Second, jam bands do not wear make-up, leather pants, lace stockings, or nose rings.  Third, the goal of the jam band is to gently rock and rhythm their audiences until they swirl and flutter gracefully around the floor like little entranced butterflies just out of the cocoon, whereas punk bands SLAM their audiences over the head, from the side and in the face with LOUD, PUSHY, OBNOXIOUS, ANGRY, CYNICAL emotion.  YEAH!  HAH!  UNGH!

I will say that cynicism goes well with the jam bands at times too, though they tend to express it with more of a “heh” than a “HAH!”, if you know what I mean.

But nevertheless!  A recipe title is a recipe title, and I have just enough integrity to know when it’s time to get my jam on.  So, grab a sheet pan and a cheese grater, and come with me…

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“Raptures”: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

Yes, you will experience rapture when you bite into these sweet, smooth, chocolaty, shortbread bars.  Plus, it’s one of the greatest Blondie songs of all time, and Blondie were one of the greatest punk bands of all time, so it’s alllll coming together, eh?  Witness The Raptures: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

"Hang each night in rapture..."

"Hang each night in rapture..."

Aaah, yes,  Are you ready?  Are you drooling?  This one borrows a bit from Paula Deen‘s Orange Citrus Dessert Bars (the shortbread part) and a bit from many recipes by my all-time cooking idol, Ina Garten (the chocolate part), and of course the rest is all PUNKY.  Come with me…

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Roasted Poblano Pepper Farmer’s Market Burrito! (Poblastically Pepptastic!)

Awww, yeah.  This ain’t your mama’s burrito, people.  THIS burrito is wrapped inside a ROASTED POBLANO PEPPER from the Farmer’s Market!  Kin ‘Ah git a UNGH UNGH!!

POBLUSCIOUS!  PEPPERIFIC!

POBLUSCIOUS! PEPPERIFIC!

Yes, Sunday is Farmer’s Market Day here in Hollywood, California, and I found myself hypnotized by this gorgeous poblano pepper!  (So much so, that apparently I am unable to take a photo that isn’t blurry.)  Chiles Rellenos are my fave Mexican meal, so I have quite the love for the poblano, but had never tried cooking with one myself.  Still, the bumpy, crazy green guy stared up at me longingly, saying “Please Punky Chef, take me home.  I promise to be FABULOUS for you.”  Really, it said that to me.  I mean, just look at it:

Please, lady.  Make me somethin' SPECIAL, won't you?

Please, lady. Make me somethin' SPECIAL, won't you?

How could I resist?  Plus, once I lifted it to my punky nose and inhaled that sweet, tangy, spicy, slightly smoky aroma, the deal was signed.  And then I tried to stuff the little guy with roasted corn, black beans, organic Roma tomatoes, sweet onions and pepper jack cheese, but discovered in the process that it’d be better just to roll the whole puppy up, burrito-stylie.  And so was born the Roasted Poblano Pepper Farmer’s Market Burrito!  The POBLITO!  The PPB!  The Chilito Pobluscious!  Ah, forget it.  Just come with me, already…

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ENCORE PRESENTATION: Farmer’s Market Fresh Bean and Corn Salad!

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “Reruns already?  Really Punky Chef?!?”  But look, I just made this salad for dinner and it was so yummy that I’ve decided to post it anew.  (Also because I never had a decent picture of it the first time.)  So witness: Farmer’s Market Fresh Bean and Corn Salad!

Encore!  Encore!

Encore! Encore!

Grab your appetite and your big knife and click here to start the party…

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Free-Range Savory Chix n’ Potayduz – One Pan, One Spoon, One Knife. HOLLA!

Okay fine, so the title of this recipe is a little over-the-top.  But listen to me people, this really is a punky miracle dinner: juicy, savory, flavorful chicken and crispy, buttery potatoes done all in one pan and ready in 35 minutes!  Say it out loud for fun times: FREE-RANGE SAVORY CHIX n’ POTAYDUZ!

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so delicious in your LIFE?

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so delicious in your LIFE?

Now, let me start by giving credit for the inspiration for this dish to my all-time chef idol, (and hopefully my future-best-friend), Ina Garten.  (I love you, Ina.)  Ina Garten recently was seen on the Food Network cooking a whole chicken in a big pan with all the vegetables scattered around it at the same time.  “That is genius,” thought one Punky Chef.  But I must say, Ina’s version looks very complicated to me – lots of stuffing and tying-off and tucking, not to mention the hour and half in the oven.  Well THIS punk is just too hungry and impetuous to ever wait that long!  So instead, I have taken the general idea and made it my own… just like Andy Warhol with the Campbell’s Soup Cans, eh?  Ha-HAH!  PUNK IT UP.  (And come with me…)

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Lucky 7 Salad!

Yes… I’M BACK!  I know your life has been empty and hungry without your Punky Chef.  So sing to the heavens, hug thy neighbor, and get EXCITED, people.  I’ve been busy traveling and working on many things happy problem.  (New songs!  Visit www.myspace.com/thehappyproblem.  Sorry, brief promotional moment.)  AND, Punky Chef is now AUNT PUNKY CHEF.  Witness my two gorgeous new nephews – born within 24 hours of each other to my sister and my sister-in-law:

Ryder Punky - doing his very first Elvis impression

Punky Ryder - doing his very first Elvis impression

David Punky - doing his first Johnny Rotten impression

Punky David - doing his first Johnny Rotten impression

So I’ve been enjoying the baby parade for the last three weeks, and am now getting back to my teensy kitchen and starting to cook again.  And just to ease us all back in, I’m throwing this fabboo, quick, healthy lunch at you.  Witness Lucky 7 Salad!

Do ya feel LUCKY, Punk?

Do ya feel LUCKY, Punk?

Yeah, it’s pretty much the easiest ever, thanks to our “7” theme and also to the wonderful people at Newman’s Own for the dressing.  Come with me…

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