Archive for Snacks/Appetizers

Peachy Punky Sweet Cornbread: HOLLA!

Okay, I realize it’s not very punk to say the word “HOLLA”, but really that’s just the sound you make when you taste this surprisingly sweet n’ easy cornbread.  Witness Peachy Punky Sweet Cornbread!

Eet a-make-a you HONGRY!

Yes, this is a good one, especially with summer coming on.

Summer isn’t for like two months, Punky.

Whatever.  Shutup.  And come with me… Read the rest of this entry »

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Disco Biscuits: Parmesan Lace Wafers with a Punky Party on Top!

These are the easiest thing ever, people, I’m serious.  And I don’t get serious very often, so this must be HUGE.  Seriously, you just shave, plop, and blot.  2 minutes.  Total perfection.  And I wanted to find a cool, punky name for them, y’know, like “Sid Viciousnesses” or “Ramonezones” or something.  But then I thought of awesome jam band the Disco Biscuits and suddenly there was no going back.  Witness:

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Don't they just make you wanta BOOGIE?

Now there are few things farther from punk than a jam band.  First, jam bands have real musicians who tend to play their instruments extremely well.  Second, jam bands do not wear make-up, leather pants, lace stockings, or nose rings.  Third, the goal of the jam band is to gently rock and rhythm their audiences until they swirl and flutter gracefully around the floor like little entranced butterflies just out of the cocoon, whereas punk bands SLAM their audiences over the head, from the side and in the face with LOUD, PUSHY, OBNOXIOUS, ANGRY, CYNICAL emotion.  YEAH!  HAH!  UNGH!

I will say that cynicism goes well with the jam bands at times too, though they tend to express it with more of a “heh” than a “HAH!”, if you know what I mean.

But nevertheless!  A recipe title is a recipe title, and I have just enough integrity to know when it’s time to get my jam on.  So, grab a sheet pan and a cheese grater, and come with me…

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“Raptures”: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

Yes, you will experience rapture when you bite into these sweet, smooth, chocolaty, shortbread bars.  Plus, it’s one of the greatest Blondie songs of all time, and Blondie were one of the greatest punk bands of all time, so it’s alllll coming together, eh?  Witness The Raptures: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

"Hang each night in rapture..."

"Hang each night in rapture..."

Aaah, yes,  Are you ready?  Are you drooling?  This one borrows a bit from Paula Deen‘s Orange Citrus Dessert Bars (the shortbread part) and a bit from many recipes by my all-time cooking idol, Ina Garten (the chocolate part), and of course the rest is all PUNKY.  Come with me…

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Bad-Ass Bruschetta…

Oh yes, I did just say that.  And I mean “Bad-Ass” as in “kick-in-the…”  Hey, I AM the Punky Chef, after all.  And when you taste this version of a classic appetizer, you’ll understand WHY!  Witness: Bad-Ass Bruschetta.

Get ready for a kick in the pants, people.

Get ready for a kick in the pants, people.

Yes, this ain’t ‘cher madre’s bruschetta.  This is Bruschetta with a KICK, thanks to pepper and fresh chopped garlic.  We’ve also got some other special treats like shaved Parmesan and fresh julienned basil.  You can get almost everything for this delish dish from your local Farmer’s Market, and the whole thing takes like 20 minutes, so saddle-up my punky friends!  And don’t forget your padding.  Come with me…

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Smoked Salmon Tarts – They’ll Be SO Impressed…

Okay, this is the greatest.  Not just because it tastes amazing, but because it’s a PUN!  Little salmon bites with cucumber, cream cheese, dill and lemon zest – they’re Smoked Salmon TARTS, get it?  They’re like little tarts, AND they’re tart!  (Please tell me you get it.)  Oh I slay myself…

those little sluts...

those little sluts...

Yes, this one is awesome and easy and tasty AND impressive, because look how pretty they are!  And no baking, no frying, no boiling – just some yummy room temperature fun.  I threw a spontaneous appetizer party tonight for some good friends – just like Ina Garten always does on Barefoot Contessa.  I totally Ina’d tonight, dudes!  I made the Greek Nachos, some special Bad-Ass Bruschetta, which I’ll tell you about soon, and these Smoked Salmon Tarts.  My friends brought wine, and a fabulous feasting time was had by all!  We even forgot to have DINNER afterwards because we were so well-appetized.  So, grab your taste buds (and your close buds – oh I slay myself) and come with me… Read the rest of this entry »

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Sage Cheddar and Red Pepper Cornbread

Ahhh, yes.  Another way to use that Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix to impress your punky friends and WOW your tastebuds.  Witness: Sage Cheddar and Red Pepper Cornbread!

Little sprinkles of red, how we love ye...

Little sprinkles of red, how we love ye...

Awww, yeah!  The Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix strikes again!  But this time, instead of a sweet tooth, we dive into the savory category with this easy, quick sage cheddar and red pepper cornbread recipe.  And total cost?  About $5 I’d say.  Jiffy Mix is a cool $.69 in the grocery store, cheese was $5 from the Farmer’s Market and I used about half of it, red pepper was like $1.28 and I used half of that, one egg, and some milk and butter.  I mean, GET ‘CHER CHILI ON, PEOPLE!  Also great as a happy hour snack with a coupla margaritas, eh?  I’m just sayin’… Read the rest of this entry »

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Greek Nachos – A Great Late Night Snack

Just got back from a gig tonight with the happy problem, and I find myself with a bad case of the munchies.  But case closed!  (Oh I slay myself…)  I filled my craving with some easy, YUMMY late-night Greek Nachos:

Aaah, such colorful yumminess!

Aaah, such colorful yumminess!

Okay, they’re not just for late-night – these were very popular at a Super Bowl party recently too.  And they’re so easy! Read the rest of this entry »

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