Posts tagged Ina Garten

“Raptures”: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

Yes, you will experience rapture when you bite into these sweet, smooth, chocolaty, shortbread bars.  Plus, it’s one of the greatest Blondie songs of all time, and Blondie were one of the greatest punk bands of all time, so it’s alllll coming together, eh?  Witness The Raptures: Chocolate-Strawberry-Banana Shortbread Bars…

"Hang each night in rapture..."

"Hang each night in rapture..."

Aaah, yes,  Are you ready?  Are you drooling?  This one borrows a bit from Paula Deen‘s Orange Citrus Dessert Bars (the shortbread part) and a bit from many recipes by my all-time cooking idol, Ina Garten (the chocolate part), and of course the rest is all PUNKY.  Come with me…

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Free-Range Savory Chix n’ Potayduz – One Pan, One Spoon, One Knife. HOLLA!

Okay fine, so the title of this recipe is a little over-the-top.  But listen to me people, this really is a punky miracle dinner: juicy, savory, flavorful chicken and crispy, buttery potatoes done all in one pan and ready in 35 minutes!  Say it out loud for fun times: FREE-RANGE SAVORY CHIX n’ POTAYDUZ!

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so delicious in your LIFE?

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so delicious in your LIFE?

Now, let me start by giving credit for the inspiration for this dish to my all-time chef idol, (and hopefully my future-best-friend), Ina Garten.  (I love you, Ina.)  Ina Garten recently was seen on the Food Network cooking a whole chicken in a big pan with all the vegetables scattered around it at the same time.  “That is genius,” thought one Punky Chef.  But I must say, Ina’s version looks very complicated to me – lots of stuffing and tying-off and tucking, not to mention the hour and half in the oven.  Well THIS punk is just too hungry and impetuous to ever wait that long!  So instead, I have taken the general idea and made it my own… just like Andy Warhol with the Campbell’s Soup Cans, eh?  Ha-HAH!  PUNK IT UP.  (And come with me…)

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Free-Range Chicken and Veggie Ka-POWS!

Some call these skewers, some call them kebobs, a cute, freckled English guy I once knew named Luke even called them “ke-babs,” (which of course I thought was as cute as he was), BUT these tasty little numbers are so flavorful and emotionally rewarding that I am now officially re-christening them.  Witness Free-Range Chicken and Veggie Ka-POWS!

They're the stars of the show!

They're the stars of the show!

Brace yourself for the greatest summer barbecue experience of your life.  (Look how cocky Punky’s become!)  And I don’t even own a barbecue grill, (or a backyard, for that matter), so I’m also cocky enough to have borrowed one from a friend.  (Fine my wonderful friend Kate had actually INVITED us over for dinner on the grill, but I was still cocky enough to bring my own FOOD to said barbecue and use Kate to experiment on.  Such cockiness.)

But YOU will feel cocky TOO when you make these, because they are easy, healthy, cheap, and BURSTING with flavor!  So get-cher skewers and come with me…

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Lemon Pesto Pop Chop Salad!

No, do not adjust your monitor – you read that right.  Have you ever said you wanted to drink pesto through a straw?  Well now you practically can.  This chop salad has carrots, walnuts, tomato, mozzarella, avocado, and romaine, and along with the lemon-pesto dressing, it totally POPs in your mouth.  Witness: Lemon Pesto Pop Chop Salad:

POP!  CRACKLE!  SNAP!  Wait a second, that sounds familiar...

POP! CRACKLE! SNAP! Wait a second, that sounds familiar...

And the best thing about this salad, is that most of the ingredients came from my Farmer’s Market!  All I did was chop and POP.  Come with me, young grasshoppah…

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Bad-Ass Bruschetta…

Oh yes, I did just say that.  And I mean “Bad-Ass” as in “kick-in-the…”  Hey, I AM the Punky Chef, after all.  And when you taste this version of a classic appetizer, you’ll understand WHY!  Witness: Bad-Ass Bruschetta.

Get ready for a kick in the pants, people.

Get ready for a kick in the pants, people.

Yes, this ain’t ‘cher madre’s bruschetta.  This is Bruschetta with a KICK, thanks to pepper and fresh chopped garlic.  We’ve also got some other special treats like shaved Parmesan and fresh julienned basil.  You can get almost everything for this delish dish from your local Farmer’s Market, and the whole thing takes like 20 minutes, so saddle-up my punky friends!  And don’t forget your padding.  Come with me…

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Smoked Salmon Tarts – They’ll Be SO Impressed…

Okay, this is the greatest.  Not just because it tastes amazing, but because it’s a PUN!  Little salmon bites with cucumber, cream cheese, dill and lemon zest – they’re Smoked Salmon TARTS, get it?  They’re like little tarts, AND they’re tart!  (Please tell me you get it.)  Oh I slay myself…

those little sluts...

those little sluts...

Yes, this one is awesome and easy and tasty AND impressive, because look how pretty they are!  And no baking, no frying, no boiling – just some yummy room temperature fun.  I threw a spontaneous appetizer party tonight for some good friends – just like Ina Garten always does on Barefoot Contessa.  I totally Ina’d tonight, dudes!  I made the Greek Nachos, some special Bad-Ass Bruschetta, which I’ll tell you about soon, and these Smoked Salmon Tarts.  My friends brought wine, and a fabulous feasting time was had by all!  We even forgot to have DINNER afterwards because we were so well-appetized.  So, grab your taste buds (and your close buds – oh I slay myself) and come with me… Read the rest of this entry »

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Spicy 3 Bean Beer Chili – You’re Welcome.

Yes, for those of you who enjoyed the Free-Range Turkey Chili made with Amber Lager, (and also for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about), I got one better – and it’s totally vegetarian.  Witness: Spicy 3 Bean Beer Chili.  Aw, yeeeaaaah!  (And stay tuned for the awesome apartment trick at the end.)

Aaawwww, yeeeaaahhhh!

Aaawwww, yeeeaaahhhh!

Yes, there it is in all its beany glory.  Thick, aromatic, spicy and HEALTHY!  YOU WILL MAKE THIS and then you will feel GOOD!  Come with me…

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